So today is my second day at Connie's house, and I'm settling in nicely. The dogs and I are getting along fine, I had a nice time last night playing with Tivo and baking cookies, and I got to hang out with the fam this afternoon. We went to the mall. We are very American.
(And I have pants! New pants! And cute earrings! It's a very exciting time.)
When I told my friend Thomas about this trip, he said it sounded like writing camp - that I'd be getting away from it all, writing pages and pages every day. I'm not going to say that a lot of writing has happened yet, but for some reason, I'm actually getting IDEAS for things. That hasn't happened in a long time.
I took some tests judging my level of depression a week ago, and I either won or lost, depending on your point of view - they all seemed to think I had a problem. And I wasn't necessarily surprised. A couple of the questions had me seriously thinking about stuff I had sort of noticed, but hadn't paid much attention to - like the fact that I was having a really hard time caring about things like the endings of books, like characters of my own creation. "Are things that were once easy for you now much more difficult? Do you find your attention and energy wavering?"
And at that time, I really really did.
I don't want to jinx anything, but after only a day here, I'm feeling better. I don't know why. Maybe it's getting out of LA, out of the apartment where I've been spending WAY too much time. Maybe being alone in this house, except for two dogs who love easily, who always want to cuddle, who only demand that you get out of a nice warm bed at 7 AM to take them for a walk *g*.
I think one of the most fundamentally screwed up things about me is the fact that I'm a cat person. Given the type of relationships I seem to crave - the sincere, committed ones that offer plenty of affection - it would make far more sense for me to be a dog person. Yet I love cats, and when the dogs jump up at my arrival and lean against my legs and crawl into my lap, I feel uncomfortable.
I only want what I can't have, I guess. But who doesn't?
Speaking of wanting what I can't have - Audiogalaxy has shut down, leaving me adrift. Any Mac users know of an alternative file sharing system? Because mp3s are very important things.
Maybe this is an omen that I will soon get work, and will therefore be able to afford CDs instead. Or maybe I'm just screwed.
Either way, I do have a job to do now. The dogs roam around, restless. Walking shall now commence.
It's a beautiful day today in Oakland. Going outside is no great hardship.