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Friday, February 07, 2003

I've been having weird highs and lows all week. My roommate was so bewildered by my hyper happiness on Wednesday, she compared it to rolling on E. I nearly went homicidal during my industry seminar class yesterday, snapping at the idiot behind me when he asked why the WB didn't aire shows produced by Warner Bros. The correct answer is, because they're not the same company. I tacked on, "we've covered this a hundred times already."

Today is an odd day. I got up and rewrote the first act of the new screenplay. Ended up not seeing Shanghai Knights, which will hopefully be happening later in the weekend, but may not happen at all. Instead, watched Donnie Darko on cable. Weird, weird movie. Weird.

Talked to manager guy, who I no longer have to refer to as "manager guy" because he is, in fact, now my official manager. Being able to say this is strange and frightening. He admitted that my writing isn't completely ready yet, but he wants to work with me on it.

I just need to work.

It's all so bewildering, is all. So strange. I started school four years ago, and I thought "Well, I'll major in screenwriting and I'll minor in multimedia so that I can get a job after graduation working with computers. And then I can write on the side until my writing gets notice, and then I can just write."

I was drying my hair this morning and I realized that I've got a job working with computers, and I can most likely keep this job after graduation, and my writing has gained notice. There are decent odds that someday, I could just... write.

It's like in the ninth grade, when all I thought I wanted was a boyfriend and a best friend and good grades in school. And then I had those things, and they terrified me. Because it wasn't perfect and if those things didn't make life perfect -- then what?

This is silly, I know. I know that life isn't as simple as all that.

I just forget sometimes.


Things to be accomplished this weekend:
-Watch DVDs from library (Chariots of Fire and Seven Year Itch)
-Go to library
-Write schedule for thesis class, and start revising old screenplay.
-Do reading for various classes
-Stop freaking out
-Read books
-Download photos from camera and put together San Diego and Getty Center galleries
-Listen to my new CDs
-Practice guitar
-Get something to eat.

Time for soup and a book. And then Farscape and my free pass to a dance club tonight.

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