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Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Self-involved catch-up post, in B sharp

What's strange about the not-updating is that I have absolutely no excuse. For technically, as of Friday, I've been unemployed.

I say technically because I'm in the middle of the gap between my life as an employed student of USC and my life as a staff member of USC. (Yesterday was the beginning of classes, and the end of my student status.) Soon, I'll have health benefits and employee discounts at the bookstore and pain from my new business casual apparel.

But right now, I. Am. Free.

Free, of course, is only theoretical. Free, of course, means that instead of spending this five to ten business days (the length of time it will take for USC to confirm that I'm not a felon and infinitely employable) in a horizontal position, I am busier than a busy girl doing busy things.

Don't believe me? Over the past forty eight hours, I have:

  • Joined Gold's Gym (30 Days Free pass! Whee for free!) and suffered through two separate workouts (including two hundred crunches)
  • Read about a year's worth of borrowed Ultimate Spider-man comics (we loves Bendis, oh yes)
  • Papered large parts of LA with flyers celebrating the 83rd anniversary of women's suffrage
  • Watched an episode of West Wing
  • Read and covered about eight screenplays (with five more to go before tomorrow!)
  • Caught up on all my email
  • Finished writing the screenplay's Sequence of Death and Despair (Too Much Exposition, Too Few Pages) and emailed it off to manager guy
  • Bought actual groceries, including fruit AND vegetables, and cooked some of these things, resulting in an actual meal!
  • Designed a new website for a women's group
  • Begun work on another website for a writer of porn erotica *g*
  • Not slept an awful lot

And this isn't everything I have to do. I have to clean out my car (been long overdue), get a haircut, finish the website, clear off my reading pile, watch my borrowed copy of LotR: Fellowship of the Ring (the extended version, long time coming), write another sequence of the screenplay, rediscover how to write comics, finish an essay I've been working on for a while, see some friends, return things to said friends, return things to the library, and oh yeah, buy an entire wardrobe of cheap business casual apparel.

Not to mention get some sleep.

And it's good. It's great, actually. I get up when I want to, get my work done, get my fun on. Tonight, I may be going to see Mars at the Griffith Observatory, and it doesn't matter when I get home. Just so long as I do the things I need to do later.

I love my day job, I really do, and I can't wait to start Day Job 2.0. But I have to admit that when my ambition as a writer flags, when I question whether the life is something that I really want...

I'm going to remember these days. These days when my energy is focused on myself and the things that I want to do and create. This freedom.

And perhaps the words will come a little easier. Letter by letter, line by line, taking me to the place where writing is what I do. Where a writer is who I am.

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