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Friday, February 06, 2004

A paradox of pants

I have four pairs of dress pants that I wear regularly.

One of them is very high-waisted, and is prone to shrinking in the wash.

I do not have much of a waist. My figure is vaguely trunk-like. The dress-for-success people call it rectangular. Low-rise pants have been a godsend, as high-waisted pants (such as these) are designed for people with hips that taper into an O'Hara-esque hourglass.

When I wear these high-waisted pants right after washing them, they tend to fit fairly tightly.

After wearing them for a few hours, I start to feel fat and depressed.

I eat something fattening to make myself feel better.

This does not help the waist issue any.

I take off the pants when I get home and put them in the hamper.

The next time I do laundry, I wash the pants.

A few days later, I wear the pants.

The cycle continues.

In theory, I like the pants. They've got big bellbottomy bottoms, look great with my grey button-down, and were a ten-dollar thrift store find. God help me, I even mended the cuffs last night (they were frayed). Because I like the pants so much.

The moral of this story, though? I need new pants.

::sigh::

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