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Monday, May 16, 2005

Lamest thing I saw this weekend
Nordic Walking. Seriously. It's walking. But with poles. Because apparently walking without poles doesn't look retarded enough.

You can take CLASSES on Nordic Walking, even. CLASSES. To learn how to walk. With poles.

The guys I saw Nordic Walking were wearing t-shirts that said "Ask me about Nordic Walking!" I wanted to ask them about Nordic Walking. With a slap to the face.

Snarkiest thing I saw this weekend
A Livejournal conversation about my last Bookslut column (did I ever link to that here? hmmm), being snarky over the lack of direction found in my snark. Can't a girl just snark over bad teen movies adapted from Shakespeare? Alas.

Most cop-out-iest thing I saw this weekend
What the hell, Fried Green Tomatoes? I mean, you're a movie about lesbians. Mary Stuart Masterson and Mary-Louise Parker are very clearly lesbians. And yet you twist it into "Oh, isn't having a best friend the greatest? Female friendship is fantastic!" It's not like I have some huge Lou/Stu fixation (the way certain other gentlemen apparently do, a fact discovered when I bitched about the lack of actual lesbian behavior in a movie about lesbians), but it's like not showing us the starships in Star Wars. This is why 1991 was lame -- you could finally make movie adaptations about lesbians, but you couldn't show them actually being lesbians. The Color Purple got itself neutered in the same fashion, come to think of it. There's a Bookslut column in this.

Awesomest thing I saw this weekend
Unleashed may have ruined me for American non-Matrix kung fu, and I really don't care. Not only does the movie hold up remarkably well (I adore Luc Besson -- his scripts are never genius, but they're always solid fun) but damn oh damn. Jet Li as choreographed by Yuen Wo Ping makes violence beautiful. I can't believe I'd forgotten how good it could look. Too much of the bland knock-offs, I suppose. I may need to watch a whole bunch of early Jet Li kung fu very soon. I may need to raid Alison's collection. I may need to figure out a way to convince her that this is a good idea.

But other than that, a good weekend. Play opens next weekend. Dad comes into town for a few days. SMRT-TV is cooking with gas. And I try to write a screenplay about space in the space of a month, because why the hell not?

At this point, I don't have TIME for a job.

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