Liz Tells Frank What Happened on BONES

My friend Frank doesn't watch BONES. I do. So I tell him what happens. At least, the parts worth telling.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Who's Who in LTFWHOBTW-world

Dear Frank,

Sorry about being two episodes behind -- nearly three, now! -- but life gets a little crazy. While I find time to catch up, though, I figured it might be time to remind you how all these silly nicknames got started, especially since more people are dropping by to see what all the fuss is about, it's become apparant that we should probably do some clarification. You agree? Great.

Who's Who in the World of LTFWHOBTW:
Lesser Deschanel: Because I am lazy, oftentimes I just call the star of Bones "Bones," because like President Bush and Beau, I do love a good silly nicknames. But occasionally I'll refer to the actress who brings our favorite robot girl to life, and given that this actress is the older sister of a significantly more successful indie darling (co-star of Hitchhiker's Guide, Frank!), it seems only fair to show our respect for the Greater Deschanel, while not purposefully denigrating the excellent qualities of the Lesser. (What of Caleb Deschanel, you might ask? The Non-chanel? It is better not to ask these questions.)

Beau: Frank, remember how you told me that story about how the friends of David Boreanez call him "Beau"? Too many Davids in their cell phones, I'd wager. They so they call him Bo. But boyfriend's just a little bit pretty, Frank. Just a little bit.

Hot Not Asian: She's hot, she's no more than half-Asian, and there you go. Oh, and sometimes she has feelings. And sometimes, she wants to do Beau. That's canon, Frank. I didn't make that up. Though I kind of wish I had.

ParaNerd: He's the paranoidiest, but he's also got girly curly hair and lots of money. I like him all right when he's not being an stubborn idiot about something. I don't like him much of the time.

Virgin Nerd: Sure, there's proof he's not a virgin. But I don't put much faith in this science jive.

Deep Bass Boss/Boring Black Boss/Some Other Permutation of Boring, Black, Bass-voiced, and Boss: He's all of these things. And nothing else, sadly.

The Smithphonian: The institute that's run by the government and enables crime-solving! Yeah Smithphonian!

Liz: The girl who watches this damn show, albeit very sporadically.

Frank: The one who hears all about it.

All Those People Beau Snipered: The ones who, ultimately, bring us all together.

Love,
Liz

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