I was on cold medication while watching the Oscars, and that's what I'm gonna say caused the primal scream during the announcement of Best Picture. Not that I don't think Crash deserved the award... Oh, wait, I totally don't.
This feels a lot like when Akiva Goldsman won for A Beautiful Mind -- annoying not because the movie was bad, but because this now would validate him to make more, equally bad, movies. Now everyone loves Paul Haggis! Let's let him make ALL THE MOVIES!
Haggis: It will be completely different, I think. You know, it takes James Bond from the very first Ian Fleming book, "Casino Royale," when he becomes James Bond — when he gets his "Double 0" status, which means he has two kills, and therefore has his license to kill. But all the bells and whistles, all the things that Q used to give him, the gadgets, those are all gone. So you deal with the character as an assassin and what it feels like to be an assassin. And I ask the question, "Why does he treat women the way that he treats them?"
I'd be okay with that approach, except that it comes from a man who seems to think that sexual assault ain't so bad. Will we learn that the reason James Bond (who has never forcibly penetrated a woman's vagina with his fingers as part of a sick power trip which will later be validated by a heroic rescue I'm sorry I keep bringing it up but the movie won BEST PICTURE, for MacGuyver's sake!) loves them and leaves them is because Everyone Is Sexist? Or because his true love sneakily loaded his Beretta with blanks? Whatever the cause, I'm sure it'll be as subtlely and elegantly executed as the third-act appearance of Hillary Swank's hillbilly family. God bless them and their simple, simple ways.
I have been sick, the past few days. But my rage is back. It shall heal me.