Okay, usually when I make these lists, little on them happens. But that's all gonna change once I grow a goatee.
(One very cool mp3 of a very cool song to the first person who gets that reference! Comment now!)
On edit: Game over, some things crossed off, and others given up
Anyhoo, to do: -Catch up on my game design reading -Practice playing the guitar -FINISH REVISING THE SCREENPLAY. One sequence a day keeps the overwhelming sense of dread away. -Watch X-Men 1.5 and/or other DVDs from library (this fortnight, we have Nurse Betty and Happy Together) -Sleep more -Finish reading White Teeth, which is proving to be amusing, if not especially profound. -Start one of my many books about cooking. -Cook something. Possibly dinner. -Tell Nicky that Babe: Pig In the City is really good but horribly traumatic and brutal. Oh, wait, that one is now done! Wheee! -Vacuum my floor. -Complete game design assignment -Read Zoot Suit for class -Watch Farscape, Alias, and possibly even Boomtown (Bravo's having a major marathon all day Sunday, for those who want to catch up). -See Lost in La Mancha (early matinee, possibly tomorrow, if I don't go to see two movies tonight). This ain't gonna happen this weekend. ::sigh::
And there's possibly even more to do! What a weekend I have planned!
Going to see Spider fairly soon. I'm afraid of Cronenberg, but perhaps it's time to conquer my fear.
And before then, I might even get a start on some of this work to be done.
ANNIE Mick, when was the last time you had a Friday night off?
MICK Ummm... There was this show on TV -- FBI agents who investigated alien stuff...
I may have just written six pages in about an hour. A lot of it is dialogue, but there are still six pages that didn't exist before an hour ago, which pleases me greatly. Praise the Lord for giving me the gift of character gab.
Hey! And rather than decomposing broccoli, a friend and I are going out for Chinese food! That's a cool development, even though I'm not sure what it does to my Flash/reading/margarita/DVD plans.
There's always tomorrowanotherdayyaddayadda.
At least I'm keeping up with the screenplay stuff. If I can write ten more pages of New Screenplay, then I will indeed rule the known universe.
There's a reason why they tell you to write every day. You forget how to do it otherwise.
-Finish rewriting the fifth sequence of my screenplay (probably about ten pages, but there's a LOT of stuff I'm keeping from the old draft). Maybe even watch a little Iron Chef while I do it, to get in the mood.
-Eat a real dinner (sometimes I do -- sometimes I don't). I have green beans and the broccoli may only be in an early state of decomposition, so that and some pasta should be mighty fine.
-Make the Flash game cards I'm creating for my Multimedia class (which I'll see about putting online).
-Read more of My First Movie and/or one of my many other library or review books.
-Go to Rite Aid, purchase much needed concealer, powder, and shampoo. Also, purchase margarita mix and discount chips.
-Return home, watch DVD (either Cinema Paradisio, on loan from library, or X-Men 1.5, on sale from Amazon). Accompany with margaritas and discount chips.
May not sound like much of a Saturday night. But to this fly girl, it's heaven.
Of course, the whole thing may be canned if I hear from a friend about seeing The Pianist. If it doesn't happen tonight, it WILL happen tomorrow. So there you go.
Still need to write about Alias. Will do so tomorrow, after what looks to be a Vaughn-tastic episode.
Also, need to write about other things. Also, need to write.
I'm all right with CJ having no voice in public policy (even though the other people who aren't supposed to influence public policy, like Toby and Sam and Will Bailey, do so all the time). I'm all right with every single other woman on the show, with the exception of the rare guest star and Mary Louise Parker, being a goddamn secretary.
But the interns, Aaron. The young pretty girls in their pretty clothes who aren't expected to know anything and wear numbered jerseys so that we don't have to know their names. Look at them try to write! Boy, they aren't very good at all! Isn't it funny?
Boys have to be interns, too, Aaron. Boys have to work just as hard as girls. And girls who have internships at the White House? Aren't just fucking around with their lives.
I'm sorry, but is it a stretch to assume that people who are interning for the White House's speechwriting staff are interested in speechwriting? Even if they are women?
Girls want things, have ambition, dream of higher things. Girls aren't always content being secretaries. Girls aren't always content with silence.
I'm a girl, Aaron, and I've loved your writing for a long long time. You make me want to write more better. You make me want to write.
But I watch an episode like tonight's and I know I'm oversensitive, but I've been an intern, goddamn it. I've worked ten hour days for no money and a faint glimpse of a dream. I worked hard, because I wanted it, and I wouldn't be so close to my dreams today without that experience.
And my bosses took my free labor and you know what? I wasn't the butt of a goddamn joke, because they had been where I was. They worked to get where they were. And they knew that I was working to get somewhere, too.
Some of my bosses were men, Aaron. And they didn't treat me like a secretary or a second banana. They knew my goddamn name.
I may be a girl, but I'm also a writer, and I've worked my entire life to be able to say that. And when you make fun of the women trying to write, it makes me want to hit things.
I've loved you for a long, long time, Aaron. But the love is beginning to fade, and I just don't know if I can go on like this. I just don't know if I care enough. I don't know why I bother to watch anymore.
Because I'm trying to be a writer. I'm learning to be serious, and take myself seriously. And right now, you're not helping with that.
Saturday Line-Up Beastie Boys Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals Queens of the Stone Age /Groove Armada / Blue Man Group / The Donnas / N*@#%$*R*D Ladytron / Felix Da Housecat /Masters At Work / Kinky / Roger Sanchez / Darren Emerson / Talib Kweli / Peanut Butter Wolf /Jaylib (Jaydee & Madlib) / Wildchild / Badly Drawn Boy / Gomez / The Music / Hot Hot Heat / Idlewild / Amon Tobin / Ben Kweller / Joseph Arthur / Particle / Christopher Lawrence / Division Of Laura Lee / South /Stereo Total / The Mooney Suzuki / Nightmares On Wax / Herman Cantanneo / D:Fuse / Spymob and more
Sunday Line-Up Red Hot Chili Peppers The White Stripes / Underworld / Jack Johnson / Primal Scream / Blue Man Group / Sonic Youth / Thievery Corporation / Café TaCuba / Fisherspooner / Dirty Vegas / Deep Dish / Richie Hawtin / Timo Mass / The Mars Volta / Johnny Marr and The Healers / G. Love and Special Sauce / Rooney / Ben Folds / Tortoise / The Soundtrack of Our Lives / The Polyphonic Spree / The Libertines / Mouse on Mars / El~P /Aesop Rock / RJD2 / Mr. Lif / Murs / Black Eyed Peas / The Von Bondies / Whirlwind Heat / The Kinison / DJ Irene / 22-20's / DB / Eisley
So, I was pretty sick during early January -- certainly sick enough to take Nyquil and sleep lots. That, plus a light load as far as work and school were concerned, meant that after about a week or so, I realized that I hadn't had any caffeine in a while.
Thus began the notion: what if I just stopped altogether? Certainly it made sense economically, what with the roughly $5 a day I spent keeping myself conscious. And I already had a head start. All I needed to do was keep up on my sleep...
Easier said than done. But the headaches weren't too bad, and I did manage early nights and late mornings more often. I managed to go cold turkey for about two weeks - but what ended up tripping me up was the psychological addiction. The way a cup of coffee can help trigger my line of thought, or the way a paper cup from Starbucks just feels right in my hands, first thing in the morning.
I've managed to keep my usage to a reasonable level. A cup of tea a day, maybe, or a diet Pepsi every once in a while. I just had my first latte in forever tonight - a tasty, tasty vanilla chai one - and it's not too strong, but the buzz is potent and lingering.
I don't think I need caffeine anymore. But I do still like it. And it's nice to have something under control, for once.
Lord help me. Not only am I watching "Living With Michael Jackson", but I'm writing notes on it.
So far, I'm actually kind of impressed by what the filmmakers are doing. Starting off with Neverland and the attractions was creepy. But bringing it back to the music was interesting. "Billy Jean" is one of my all-time favorite songs, and yes, Michael, it is one of the all-time great bass lines. And to see him dance was awesome too. Because that's eternal. That's what we know.
I have a feeling I'm going to hate interview guy soon. But I enjoy watching him try to Moonwalk.
God. He's actively trying to be ten years old. My god.
The Botticelli picture is creeping me out something awful.
"You can't imagine the effect this violence had on young Michael?" You're looking DIRECTLY AT HIS FACE.
And after they started getting into the plastic surgery pretty seriously, and I saw the masks his kids wore, I stopped taking notes and just gawked. My god.
It's almost painfully connect-the-dot, the way they use his past to clarify the present. I don't feel like it's as simple as that...
But what the hell do I really know about it?
Thus endeth any thoughts I have ever had about Michael Jackson's personal life. I never want to go there again.
I wish I had the time/committment to watch The Dead Zone. The concept for the show is so cool, and they make the characters make really interesting choices. Plus, every time John Smith makes a move on Ezri Dax, my heart just melts.
Don't ask me why.
Tomorrow, I'm going to hole up at a cafe and be productive, then go see a matinee of Daredevil. These are my plans. Perhaps they will even work out right.
I'm really digging this new design. Even with the brown. *g*
Have triumphed over evil, evil rewriting on evil, evil screenplay. Will now be able to slap professor silly with 54 pages of rewritten goodness.
Actually, only about a third is really new. And about half of that is any good. But that's why we have third and fourth drafts. Right?
Saw Chicago again today. Am very very happy as a result. Seeing The Pianist tomorrow. Will likely be very very not happy afterwards.
And then, because I have Monday off, I'm thinking a matinee of Daredevil. Why? Because I can.
Mmmm. Movies. Love 'em.
Your depressing thought for today -- if Pearl Harbor had come out after Sept. 11, I have a horrible feeling that it would have been received a helluva lot better than it was. It still would be a crap movie, but it had a happy ending. And SO MANY American flags. Seriously. I lost count.
This thought brought to you by the fact that I flipped past Volcano earlier today on FX, and I used to really like that movie, but today the scene where the fireman jumps into the overturned fire truck to save his buddy -- but ends up dying alongside him -- was just too much.
And I'm jaded and cynical.
They thought war movies wouldn't do well at the box office after 9/11. Turns out, it's disaster movies that are the dead genre.
Even now, we don't need to find our tragedy in fiction anymore.
On that note, I'm going to go watch Babe: Pig In the City. They say it's good. And They are rarely wrong.
It is a happy day, as it is the birthday of the bro (Happy 18, Eric!) and I got lovely flowers from the folks, which is nice. Thank you, folks! Will call later...
However, I'm out of cereal, have nothing else for breakfast food, and find myself very hungry and only able to fix this problem by going grocery shopping. Which takes time and does not immediately lead to my stomach being filled. ::sigh::
Movie buddy has seen Daredevil without me, and while it wasn't her fault, I'm still left without a dance partner. This makes me very very sad, and may lead to me paying too much to see a bad movie alone. I don't want to do either of these things. But this is DAREDEVIL. Sacrifices must be made.
The green didn't work. Y'all will have to suffer with the brown. We use this shade (#CCCC99, for the curious) as a heavy part of our design template at work, so I'm kind of fond of it. Looks all dignified and such.
I'm so behind on all my work. It's painful to think about how much I'm gonna have to do this weekend. PAINFUL.
Did I mention I'm hungry?
Well, I hate whining about problems that have solutions, and at least one of these problems is solvable. Off to Ralph's...
Starting to hate the green. Especially on PCs. It is vomit-green. It is not good.
If you arrive tomorrow and find the site brown, don't be surprised.
In other news, FedEx didn't screw me but USC might have. Time to convince the Interactive Multimedia department that no, I didn't need to take that intro class that was supposed to be waived.
They also want me to buy things. A fancy frame for my diploma and custom-made sashes and embossed announcements. And good god, they're expensive. I'm tempted to invest in Jostens. They must earn more money than GOD.
So I have at least forty five pages of screenplay to rewrite over the next week and a half. I have class reading, an upcoming quiz, an eight page paper looming.
So of course I stayed up all night redesigning the website.
I have the old design thoroughly saved, and if you (you, the humble reader, yes you can make an impact!) hate the new one, then speak up and maybe I'll switch back. This one's certainly more graphics-heavy, but I think it might load faster. And it looks a lot more interesting than the old one.
(Who wants to bet 5 bucks that Dad hates it? *g*)
The only bug I know of right now is that there isn't a clear way to get back home, and I have a good idea of how to fix that. But how does this read on your computer? Did you find some broken links? Are the colors/font too difficult to read?
Next project is to redo the About Me page, including various FAQs (get your questions in soon, people!), a more relevant/interesting bio, and (something I think is cool) the two original photos that make up the new header.
And there are absolutely no surprises. The only woman nominated for a screenwriting award is Nia Vardalos (which makes me feel ill), The Pianist is the only Adapted Screenplay (and Best Picture!) nominee I haven't seen, and Julianne Moore got two nominations instead of a big fatty "This Girl Rules" award.
Among twenty nominated actors, we got one Latina (Salma Hayek, who wore a unibrow with pride) and one African-American (Queen Latifah, which'll make Dad happy indeed, as she was frickin' awesome). Nice to know that the Oscars are all about diversity - every once in a while.
(Before you ask who else there was: Alfred Molina for Frida, Dennis Haysbert for Far From Heaven, any cast member from Y Tu Mama Tabien... Yeah.)
Stay tuned for Liz's Unbeatable Oscar Picks - last year I went 9.5 out of 10 (deducting a half point for leaning towards Altman over Howard, but guessing either) - a bit closer to the actual ceremonies.
So, Joe Millionaire was a wasted hour of my life tonight, and I realized that I'm over American Idol (just not as much fun to snark by oneself). On the other hand, I am becoming thoroughly engrossed in Alias and Miracles is quite the little show.
Sure, junk food's filling and tasty. But give me lasagna over french fries, any day.
Wow. I was just extremely clever. I wrote new scenes for my screenplay and put them in a new place. Doing this totally fixed problems with a later scene and made the transition from one to the next even better.
I rule. I mean, I really do. Screenwriting is so easy. Everyone should write screenplays, because it's ridiculously simple.
And now, like the supergenius mad scientist I am, I'm going to go get groceries for dinner. And I will cook a sumptuous dinner and watch Alias and continue rewriting screenplay.
I'm planning on rewriting my About Me page at some point, and one thing I wanted to include was a FAQ to answer any questions people have about this site or myself. The thing is that I don't get a lot of questions, though I'm sure more than one of you has wondered what's behind the name "Green Fire Burning", among other things.
So this is an open call for any/all questions you may have. Nothing is too stupid. Nothing is too smart. And your question will be immortalized for all blogdom to see.
So email or post a comment -- this is a perfect time for any/all lurkers to say wassup and how you're doing. I'd love to know who exactly reads my crazy thoughts and looks at pictures of my crazy hair. Because I'm crazy like that.
Breakfast at Tiffany's is one of my favorite books and least favorite movies. It's the sadness of the story, the yearning for security and safety and home, that tugs at me - the lost little girl stealing her way through life, the lonely bartender who sees beauty in her fierce struggle, the writer left observing her. The writer who wants to be a part of the story -- her story -- but is forever stuck outside, an observer. In the end, all he can do is preserve the memory of her. All he can do is hope.
And the mean reds. The sense of being trapped, lost, furious because of that lack of control. When Holly gets a case of the mean reds, she flees to Tiffany's. But what do the rest of us do?
Everyone has a thing. We dance, we write angry poetry, we cry, we scream. We curl up in bed and wait for dawn.
I do all of these things. But sometimes, it isn't enough.
Every six months or so, I buy a box of semi-permanent red hair dye. I buy it and I put it in my bathroom and I ignore it for a long long time, until a day comes when I just don't fit into my own skin, when I feel wrong all over.
Today came and it was a wasted day. I tried to do things and be a human being, but ended up in front of the TV with the laptop, burning CDs and backing up my hard drive. When I started sobbing during the Leelee-Sobieski-is-not-a-real-goth movie, I knew something was wrong.
But eventually I remembered my little box, on the high shelf of my bathroom, ready and waiting.
And I did this:
I think I'm a bit more orange than I'd like. It's pretty goddamn red.
The real issues I'm having -- whatever they are -- will emerge eventually. Meanwhile, I'll go to bed and reread Breakfast at Tiffany's and not think about how the movie ruined everything.
Even if the song was pretty.
I'm feeling much more red now - but a lot less mean.
I've been having weird highs and lows all week. My roommate was so bewildered by my hyper happiness on Wednesday, she compared it to rolling on E. I nearly went homicidal during my industry seminar class yesterday, snapping at the idiot behind me when he asked why the WB didn't aire shows produced by Warner Bros. The correct answer is, because they're not the same company. I tacked on, "we've covered this a hundred times already."
Today is an odd day. I got up and rewrote the first act of the new screenplay. Ended up not seeing Shanghai Knights, which will hopefully be happening later in the weekend, but may not happen at all. Instead, watched Donnie Darko on cable. Weird, weird movie. Weird.
Talked to manager guy, who I no longer have to refer to as "manager guy" because he is, in fact, now my official manager. Being able to say this is strange and frightening. He admitted that my writing isn't completely ready yet, but he wants to work with me on it.
I just need to work.
It's all so bewildering, is all. So strange. I started school four years ago, and I thought "Well, I'll major in screenwriting and I'll minor in multimedia so that I can get a job after graduation working with computers. And then I can write on the side until my writing gets notice, and then I can just write."
I was drying my hair this morning and I realized that I've got a job working with computers, and I can most likely keep this job after graduation, and my writing has gained notice. There are decent odds that someday, I could just... write.
It's like in the ninth grade, when all I thought I wanted was a boyfriend and a best friend and good grades in school. And then I had those things, and they terrified me. Because it wasn't perfect and if those things didn't make life perfect -- then what?
This is silly, I know. I know that life isn't as simple as all that.
I just forget sometimes.
Things to be accomplished this weekend: -Watch DVDs from library (Chariots of Fire and Seven Year Itch) -Go to library -Write schedule for thesis class, and start revising old screenplay. -Do reading for various classes -Stop freaking out -Read books -Download photos from camera and put together San Diego and Getty Center galleries -Listen to my new CDs -Practice guitar -Get something to eat.
Time for soup and a book. And then Farscape and my free pass to a dance club tonight.
It's Tuesday, I know. Most weekend ramblings generally take place on Mondays. But Monday was extremely busy for me - work and class and homework and gym and screenplay revising and more homework. Got up at 9 AM and kept going until 3 AM. Quel jour.
Quel weekend, really. But a great one, in the long run.
Friday: Slept in, did my laundry, read a bit, watched Sense and Sensibility until it was time to go see Biker Boyz with Alison. I'm not going to bother reviewing it - suffice it to say that it wasn't quite the cinematic tour de force we all were expecting. Brendan Fehr was great, though, and Derek Luke is so very pretty.
After the movie, went to a really cool club with Alison and Roomie - we were on the list, so it was cheap. The club's normally Asian-themed, and since Friday was Chinese New Year's Eve, they were giving away tons of stuff - including free passes for next Friday in red money envelopes. DJ Rap - a personal favorite - was doing a set, and so we danced, listened to music, danced some more. Alison and I left before we got too tired, and we went to a coffee shop and Alison got tea. And then I came home and watched Farscape and went to bed.
Saturday: Slept in, worked on revising my screenplay until I came up with a new, bad outline, and then tossed it all away in frustration and took a shower. Read about the Columbia. Cleaned the apartment - took out trash, boxes and recycling, vacuumed - and then ran a few errands before going to the Apple Pan and getting a lovely greasy dinner. Came home, hung out with Roomie. Worked on a new screenplay (used the line, "I am on urgent business from the king!" which embarrasses me to no end) and bitched about the old one and listened to After Hours radio on KROQ until it was time for sweet, sweet slumber.
Sunday: Didn't really sleep in. Got up, did some homework, and went through my CDs to see if there was anything I could live without. Turns out there was, and so I gathered up a stack of them and got ready to leave the house.
I went to the Getty first. Which was really, really something. Took a lot of pictures with the camera (will upload this weekend, when I have more time), saw Dorothea Lange photos and crazy, crazy video art. I'll go into more detail when I've had a chance to process it.
Then, Amoeba Records. Spent about $7 for eight used CDs, half of which had been sitting in my Amazon shopping cart. I still haven't come down from the joy of it.
And then home and Alias and homework and writing. And then Monday.
Still need to write about tons of stuff. I should be freer tonight.