I forgot to mention this earlier in the haze of the Farscape geeking, but this comic book thing I've been mentioning?
Well, my part is going... all right [she said with shifty eyes]. I'm currently trying to Make the Story Work, which involves cutting out huge chunks of the original screenplay story (which was far too long, anyways) and then make what's left into some sort of sense. This goes vaguely well, but I haven't reached a breakthrough yet and it still feels too long.
However, BQ, who's doing the art for this puppy (aka - all the hard stuff) sent me a character sketch of my protagonist on Thursday. And it was a beautiful moment, getting the download, seeing this young girl, who'd always been a bit cramped inside my head, take full form on the page.
She looked great, in other words. Almost totally perfect - the sort of "dreams come alive" moment I'd always imagined I could find in film, partnered with the right minds.
Film is so full of compromises, though - nothing ever turns out exactly like you want it to, no matter how much control you have. And I'm sure I'll learn that comics are much the same... But there's something so solid about this pencil sketch of my friend Mag, who'll most likely never see the light of celluloid.
Whenever this outline makes me want to bash my brains in, I'm going to remember that. This might be Mag's only escape into reality. And she deserves that chance.
Today is my last day of housesitting, it's worth mentioning. Connie comes back tonight, and then I'm Los Angeles-bound tomorrow, complete with a tagalong cousin riding shotgun.
I suddenly wish that I actually HAD a shotgun. Not for any security reason. Just 'cause it's cool.
Time to walk the dog, watch more Farscape, possibly see Wen in Berkeley (need to call her), and then start cleaning up Connie's place. Because it's the nice thing to do.
It's 9 AM on a Saturday morning. There's something so strange about this. Especially the fact that I stayed up ::cough:: pretty late watching Farscape (made it past Infinite Possibilities, could think of no better high point to stop on than "Revenging Angel", 90% of which was too hysterical for words - it was so awesome it was painful).
Since, in three years, I'll hopefully be rich and famous, I'll also be buying the Season 3 DVDs, because Season 3 is so my favorite, even though I have been warned of the upcoming PAIN and this decision could be reversed at some point.
So far, though, I can't help but love a season with episodes filled with cheesy porn music ("Meltdown"), unbelievably brilliant Looney Tunes homages ("Revenging Angel"), and crazy-ass editing/crazy-ass D'Argo dancing ("Scratch n' Sniff"). John's head rules. It's so silly and so many interesting things happen there and whenever an episode switches into Crichton's head, I automatically begin to grin.
But I'm still not done with Farscape season 3! And I went to Berkeley yesterday, and pretended that I had money, and the end result is that I have a few really cool books and a few really cool CDs and I don't get to spend money like that again for a really long time. It's not that I went overboard - I just chose to splurge, with the understanding with myself that if I did it, it meant a lot of sitting at home next week watching cable, eating rice, and job-hustling. Which will happen, so overall I'm not too frelled.
One major Farscape revelation I've had is that when the episodes drag, they REALLY drag for me. I fell asleep last night during, whassit called, "Losing Time" - the directing is weak, I think, and I can't seem to get invested.
Besides, "Green Eyed Monster" just blew me away. I mean, a LOT. Because I was so set up to hate it, hard-core romantic that I am, and it did this marvelous job of making me feel VERY, VERY uncomfortable, and then...
SPOOSH. That's the sound of me melting into a puddle of gooey happiness. *g*
I knew that I'd like Season 3 best of all.
Now, I just have to get past this episode...
Oh, and Dog 2 (the dog belonging to Connie's sister) was picked up last night. So now it's just me and Baggie. It's a lot more quiet, which is nice. But Stella was a sweetheart. When she wasn't watching every bite I took in hopes that some would fall out of my mouth.
Not that I'm so much more active and productive than I was earlier this afternoon. However, this afternoon, the concept of removing the sweatshirt I'd been wearing all day was a hard one to master.
Since then, though, I've changed three times. Oh, and gone through the last draft of my screenplay, broken down the comic-book-to-be's storyline, and read more of Stephen King's On Writing. At a coffee shop, too, which helped me Think about the short story I started yesterday.
I think I'm going to drink some water now and start planning for dinner before walking the dogs.
No more Farscape today, I've decided. I went through about five episodes this morning, and it really is time to stop. I'll finish up all the work I need to do after dinner, and then treat myself to some Tivo time. Or watch Atlantis on DVD. So many choices...
I think my downfall today was staying up too late (stupid Farscape crack). Tomorrow, though, there's dinner with the fam, plus I was thinking of going to Berkeley for a while, hanging out and browsing their fantabulous bookstores. Good reasons to go to bed a little early.
Yesterday I was superproductive girl. I was up early, did a lot of reading, had a nice bowl of soup at the cafe nearby, and WROTE stuff - the beginnings of a comic book script that a friend of mine is going to draw, and the first page of a short story.
Today, I am a lump. I am a sad, pathetic, unshowered, dull lump.
I blame it on Farscape. Which I'm starting to like. Not TOO much. I think. I don't know. I have a crush on Ben Browder. But who DON'T I have a crush on.
I think the answer to this problem is caffeine and a shower. But I don't even have the energy for that!
::sigh:: I have to write more story and an outline for the comic book and character descriptions, though. These things MUST BE DONE.
So today is my second day at Connie's house, and I'm settling in nicely. The dogs and I are getting along fine, I had a nice time last night playing with Tivo and baking cookies, and I got to hang out with the fam this afternoon. We went to the mall. We are very American.
(And I have pants! New pants! And cute earrings! It's a very exciting time.)
When I told my friend Thomas about this trip, he said it sounded like writing camp - that I'd be getting away from it all, writing pages and pages every day. I'm not going to say that a lot of writing has happened yet, but for some reason, I'm actually getting IDEAS for things. That hasn't happened in a long time.
I took some tests judging my level of depression a week ago, and I either won or lost, depending on your point of view - they all seemed to think I had a problem. And I wasn't necessarily surprised. A couple of the questions had me seriously thinking about stuff I had sort of noticed, but hadn't paid much attention to - like the fact that I was having a really hard time caring about things like the endings of books, like characters of my own creation. "Are things that were once easy for you now much more difficult? Do you find your attention and energy wavering?"
And at that time, I really really did.
I don't want to jinx anything, but after only a day here, I'm feeling better. I don't know why. Maybe it's getting out of LA, out of the apartment where I've been spending WAY too much time. Maybe being alone in this house, except for two dogs who love easily, who always want to cuddle, who only demand that you get out of a nice warm bed at 7 AM to take them for a walk *g*.
I think one of the most fundamentally screwed up things about me is the fact that I'm a cat person. Given the type of relationships I seem to crave - the sincere, committed ones that offer plenty of affection - it would make far more sense for me to be a dog person. Yet I love cats, and when the dogs jump up at my arrival and lean against my legs and crawl into my lap, I feel uncomfortable.
I only want what I can't have, I guess. But who doesn't?
Speaking of wanting what I can't have - Audiogalaxy has shut down, leaving me adrift. Any Mac users know of an alternative file sharing system? Because mp3s are very important things.
Maybe this is an omen that I will soon get work, and will therefore be able to afford CDs instead. Or maybe I'm just screwed.
Either way, I do have a job to do now. The dogs roam around, restless. Walking shall now commence.
It's a beautiful day today in Oakland. Going outside is no great hardship.
So this signal will go off the air for the day, and will resume broadcasting tonight from the glamourous, less-hot-than-LA locale of the San Fran Bay Area.
Tonight's being spent with the folks, after an interlude at Connie's (to which I am going first). Minority Report shall be seen, and I'm very happy about that, because I just know that this movie and I are gonna get along famously.
Now, I'm going to shower and, um, pack. And then leave. LA, we hardly knew ye. Will be more talky soon.
And tomorrow will be much of the same. Except with fancier clothes in the evening, because I'm going to my cousin's graduation. Tonight, in between working on set and helping out my old sitcom writing class, I got a chance to strip out of my tank top and put on a clean t-shirt, wiping down my armpits with a wet paper towel.
And yet I still smell. ::sigh:: I'm going to shower tonight, and then dry my hair so that I can get up later tomorrow.
I have a feeling that there's a bit of tmi in the past few entries. Ah well.
I'm writing this in my bra, with wet hair dripping down my back, right before I commence with the business of drying said hair and putting it in pigtails.
I have, indeed, consigned the next two days over to a film crew that will pay me no money, but feed me well. And since it's the first time in over a month that anyone has asked for my labor, I might as well take them up on it.
This means driving to Redondo Beach (aka - way way away) for ten hours of labor - before going to campus and helping out with a sitcom rewrite session. And then, Thursday, I get to do it again! Except that on Thursday, immediately afterwards I get to drive to the valley and go to my cousin's graduation!
Well, I missed being active, I suppose. At least I get to sleep in on Friday - before getting up and driving to NorCal.
God, what a fun week this'll be. If I don't die, I'll be sure to report in.
I just have to keep reminding myself that I used to do this all the time. Fifteen hour days? Eat 'em for breakfast.
I just signed up to blog for the Blogathon, an event where I can raise money for charity by sitting on my butt and playing with my computer.
I'm really good at these two things.
24 hours of posting every half hour. There's a chance it could kill me. But what a way to go! For charity, even!
To be honest, it's an adventure and a challenge. I like adventures. I like challenges. And I'm up for this one.
I'll be blogging for Planned Parenthood, which I think we all can agree is a good thing (well, most of us, anyways) and I'd be honored and delighted if anyone was interested in supporting me. It's super easy - you just click here:
Fill out the form, et voila!
And then you have my thanks, and the thanks of others, and a Special Surprise that I'll be sending anyone who supports me. What's the Special Surprise? Well, I know one way to find out. *g*
You've got plenty of time to decide, as the actual date of the blogathon is July 27th. But go ahead and sign up early. Make me happy.
If you have any questions, or have problems with any of the links, please let me know. This should be a nice fun adventure, and it'll be even more fun with some company along the way.
A question: is anyone else sick of well-acted independent movies about people who fall into addiction and ruin their lives? I'm getting seriously bored of them, because all they offer is attractive people becoming really unattractive. Plus, the ending's either fake or depressing.
Used to think I could be entertained by anything. But it turns out I was wrong. Sure, a movie can be slow-paced and well-acted and Serious. But could it at least take place during the Civil War? Or involve aliens? Or something?
Summer is rotting my brain. I'm reading The Bell Jar and I've just gotten to the part where Esther's flailing about, trying to figure out what to do with her summer even as she descends mentally, rejecting all ideas and feeling lost.
You know, people keep saying that it's a very funny book. Maybe that's just in comparison to Plath's life.
Working on Mom's site design, and for some reason one of my rollovers refuses to work. And I have NO idea why, especially since it's the links graphic. For some reason, every time I do a graphic that says Links on it, the rollover refuses to work at first, and I'm never sure of how exactly it gets fixed. And there's no reason for it to do that. It's not like Dreamweaver can KNOW that the jpg says links on it, right?
If someone could look at the source code and figure out the problem, that'd be great. Me? I'm taking a break.
Happy Father's Day to all de dads out there - most especially mine.
Dreams of riots last night. Riots tearing apart Los Angeles. People being brutal to other people. And on TV, I was watching Moby perform at Area: Two and halfway through his performance, he stopped spinning, his head hanging in pain, because he had just heard about the craziness. And I was so scared and sad and only wanted a hug, and none of my friends understood.
I woke up still convinced that the world was ending. Had to remind myself that it was a dream, that I had gone to bed watching Empire Strikes Back and being happy.
Welcome to a slightlly revamped GFB, where we have fun things like my new review page and a page all about me. Actually, the about me page is pretty pathetic, and I don't have any reviews up yet, but it's a start.
The reason I put up a review page was that I wanted a place to consolidate my thoughts on things. The reason I put up a about me page was because I'd love for strangers to start coming to my humble little site (so tell all your friends!), and I find that when I visit a stranger's blog, I want to know who this person is - what they do, what they like, why I want to care about them.
I'm gonna slowly catch up with my reviews (I'm super behind right now) but does anyone have any suggestions for the about me page? I want it to be something interesting, different, and Liz-esque - while actually giving someone a good rundown on me. And also - not revealing incredibly personal information (stupid stalkers) would be a bonus.
I'm going to write a movie review now. And then I am going to crash for the night. And it will be good.
My aunt and uncle live in the valley, and they're awesome, and they have a nice house and two teenage kids who know how to keep the wisecracks coming. My cousin Amy (visiting from Florida) is staying with them for a while, so today me and my unemployed ass drove up to the valley, picked up Amy (who was hanging out alone in the house) and we drove to Hollywood. Spent too much money on parking and walked up and down the boulevard. Amy took pictures, I fended off the Scientologists, and we got to visit the Celebrity Lingerie Museum (located in the back of , which is bar none my favorite tourist attraction in LA.
And then it was back to the valley for us, and everyone came home and we went out for chinese food, and then we played Trivial Pursuit. And it was good, you know? Silly and wholesome and lots of fun. I've known these people my entire life. They're a constant, and they're a good one.
That's something I've been dealing with - the lack of family. My parents are just an email away, sure, and I have some good friends here - but my relationship with my friends isn't exactly the most nurturing. When I went to Arizona a few weeks ago, it was fantastic to spend some time with people who I knew genuinely wanted to spend time - who really liked me. When it feels like no one likes you enough to throw a trivial part-time job your way, it's sometimes good to be reminded of the people who do care.
My grandma is coming to LA on Tuesday, so I'll get to spend some time with her, too, before going up north for my housesitting adventure.
I thank the screenplay encouragers. And I think I'm gonna go for it. Just like Lorrie says - one page at a time.
Temp agency people have failed to find me work. Granted, they've only been on the job for about twenty four hours. But still. Le sigh. I'm going for an interview at Starbucks today, because the one walking distance from me is looking for people, and how cool would it be to walk two blocks to work?
Hopefully, something will work out. Really, if I can start/write a screenplay (even one that I could never do anything with under my real name) and earn some extra money for lean scholastic days, I'll chalk this up to be a successful summer.
(I have low standards.)
I've had an idea for a pretty major, yet potentially cool change to this site. It would probably take me a good half day to do it, and it could be pretty rewarding. I just have to get up the energy.
I've also been trying to draw - with pencils, not computers. I really suck at it, but I love comics too much not to try. Plenty of comics look like they were drawn by sloppy amateurs. It's a stylistic choice! Really!
This, and a major Audiogalaxy binge, and free movies and cable TV, are making the days fly by.
Aside from the poorness, it really is a good life.
That my unexpectedly funny brother and I are joking around in French and Spanish on AIM, I'm listening to freshly downloaded Kinks on my beautiful little puppy, and the sun shines outside. I just ate some delicious leftovers, diet Coke is a magic elixer, and I get to go see a free movie tonight with an old friend.
I've been thinking about the Screenplay I Could Never Write. The one that's personal, and autobiographical, and co-stars two of my close close friends.
The one that tells the truth. The one that they could never, EVER read.
The one I actually feel like writing.
This is the pathetic thing about the past month, for me. The only thing I want to write about is myself. But I'm so bored of myself that the idea of writing my life down in anything but short bursts makes my head want to explode.
Except for this story. Because it's more than just me. It's about unrequited love, and pain, and awkwardness, and cruelty, and the ultimate betrayal.
At least, it would be, if I wrote it.
It would be writing, though. That's what counts, at this stage of the game.
I'm going to be housesitting at the end of this month - which is a fun exciting thing, I've come to decide. I get to hang out with dogs and see a new town and visit fun places and fun friends.
And I might have time. Time to write this. The only story I feel like telling.
Mely just did this poetry survey, and she quoted an Adrienne Rich poem I read long ago, and my god it's beautiful, and how I had forgotten that.
So I'm posting it below, because it's made me a little teary, and it's been so long since I was genuinely moved by something.
I know you are reading this poem
I know you are reading this poem late, before leaving your office of the one intense yellow lamp-spot and the darkening window in the lassitude of a building faded to quiet long after rush-hour. I know you are reading this poem standing up in a bookstore far from the ocean on a gray day of early spring, faint flakes driven across the plain's enormous spaces around you. I know you are reading this poem in a room where too much has happened for you to bear where the bedclothes lie in stagnant coils on the bed and the open valise speaks of flight but you cannot leave yet. I know you are reading this poem as the underground train loses momentum and before running up the stairs toward a new kind of love your life has never allowed. I know you are reading this poem by the light of the television screen where soundless images jerk and slide while you wait for the newscast from the Intifada. I know you are reading this poem in a waiting-room of eyes met and unmeeting, of identity with strangers. I know you are reading this poem by fluorescent light in the boredom and fatigue of the young who are counted out, count themselves out, at too early an age. I know you are reading this poem through your failing sight, the thick lens enlarging these letters beyond all meaning yet you read on because even the alphabet is precious. I know you are reading this poem as you pace beside the stove warming milk, a crying child on your shoulder, a book in your hand because life is short and you too are thirsty. I know you are reading this poem which is not your language guessing at some words while others keep you reading and I want to know which words they are. I know you are reading this poem listening for something, torn betweeen bitterness and hope turning back once again to the task you cannot refuse. I know you are reading this poem because there is nothing else left to read there where you have landed, stripped as you are.
So I got my free pass for The Bourne Identity today - huzzah! And then, tonight, I'm going to a demo release thing at The Troubadour, this cool club that I always pass and yearn to go into. Now, I can, and the thing is free! I've never heard of any of the bands playing. But that's what makes it an adventure.
Appointment with the temp agency tomorrow. Group interview for Starbucks on Thursday. And either I go home this weekend, or I show my cousin Amy around WeHo. Either way, good times.
Last night, AS and SJ and I played basketball on campus and tried a new diner on Wilshire - not too bad, even though all I could afford was the chocolate milk. It was nice to get some exercise. I've been eating really healthy these past two days - steamed veggies and pasta for dinner tonight, sauteed veggies and rice on Sunday. And there was a bit of yoga this morning, and a walk to the bank and post office.
I'm starting to relax, settle into this life, enjoy the comforts it offers. So hopefully the divine Lorrie's right, and my unemployment days will end soon.
And if not - well, there's plenty of free fun to be had.
Strange dreams last night/this morning. My favorite is the one where I'm watching the X-Files finale, except it's entirely different, and sent to everyone's house on VHS and floppy disc formats. And then I was IN the finale, and it ended up being a Buffy crossover (I actually heard color commentary along the lines of "It makes perfect sense that these two shows would come together for this last episode" - my dreams like to feel justified) and then I ended up playing a really bad game of basketball against the vampires and David Duchovny.
What I learned from this dream:
There's a reason I try not to pay too much attention to my dreams.
Today's fun project was figuring out style sheets, at some level. I chose the most basic. Now, my links don't look like ass. And I'll admit they're snazzy and all. Go style sheets. ::waves little flag::
Another quiet day, in case that wasn't obvious. I kinda like that.
Job prospects, by the way, are more sunny. As in - I feel like I have some chance of something. This is a much better feeling than before.
I've been reading this article and liking it - I'm a bit mired in the Plato stuff, but otherwise it's an interesting read.
I'm trying to figure out what to do now. I should go buy some milk and cereal. I should finish filling out my applications. I should lie down and read for a while.
I have an appointment with a temp agency next week, made after the woman and I had a promising conversation:
"So, do you have any computer skills?"
"Well, I'm expert on both Windows and Mac systems, I've taken classes on Microsoft Works, Macromedia and Adobe programs, Final Draft..."
"Oh, that's good-"
"And I think I type about 70 words a minute."
"Is Tuesday good for you?"
The temping business is, I've heard, ridiculously slow these days, and I'm not optimistic. This sounds like one of those young overambitious companies that exceeds its limits. But hey, there's always a chance.
In the grand tradition of Wil Wheaton - 7 things I'm thankful for:
1. Badly Drawn Boy. I downloaded the About a Boy (which, as everyone knows, is just a fantastic movie) soundtrack, and it's just perfect for me. Slow and yet not energy-sucking, full of hope and peace and understanding. It gives me peace of mind.
2. Free movie tonight. That's always cool.
3. Whole Foods Market. Every time I shop there, I feel like I'm doing something good for myself and others. I got a canvas bag that holds a lot of groceries very comfortably, and it's a quick two block walk to get all sorts of yummy veggies and fruits. Plus, the 365 brand food is really good and very cheap. I had this divine macaroni and white cheddar cheese yesterday - from a package, but didn't taste like it at all.
4. I saw Bedazzled on cable last night. Didn't suck.
5. I got my marked-up screenplay back from my writing professor today. I'm very fearful of it, as I hate his notes with the blinding passion of a thousand suns - but it's nice that he cared enough to do it. And when he called on Sunday to confirm my address, we chatted for a second about the Kings/Lakers game that was on, and I explained how I always root for the underdog.
"I don't see you being an underdog in the future, Liz." And other encouraging words. Which was nice.
6. I picked up an application for my friendly neighborhood Starbucks yesterday, just on a whim, and the manager was ridiculously sweet. I'd love to work for her. Not that she'll hire me, but the point remains that it was a cool bit of human contact.
7. Saw the first two episodes of Gargoyles last night on Toon Disney cable. Man, that show rules. I'm gonna tape tonight's episodes, as they promise to be full of the Goliath/Elisa goodness.
8. There's probably at least two people in my life who know what item 7 means - at least for me, on a personal level. My parents rule.
9. Last night, AS and SJ wanted to do something, and in a depressed haze, I agreed to come along. So we got in AS's car and started driving south. After about an hour, we realized we were halfway to San Diego. So we just kept going.
At around 4:30 AM, I stood on a beach in Coronado, letting the waves lick at my bare feet. Then we found the only all-night grill on that tiny little island, and I watched AS and SJ eat french toast before we drove back to LA.
I fell asleep on the way back, and so the whole experience feels strange and surreal. I'm not even entirely sure it happened. But my jeans smell like the sea. And that can be a nice smell.
So, this ended up being nine things. But I'm not complaining.
I'm gonna make dinner before going to the movie. Corn on the cob funness. *g*
I cried some last night. Dad says that 2:30-4 PM is the time to feel depressed about jobs, because your blood sugar is low. But I was watching Real Genius at 2:30 yesterday - and at midnight, I just felt so frickin' useless. Both of the jobs I interviewed for went to other people with more retail/coffee experience. I have applications for two other jobs that I need to finish, and there's a temp agency to call tomorrow morning. But I still can't help but feel like nothing good is going to happen.
I'm sure I'll get over this soon enough. I'll find something. Something good is sure to happen. It's just been a little hard to see it recently.
Today has been better. No TV so far - which is a sign that I'm not trying to turn off my brain. And I get to go see a movie - Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood for free tonight. Leaving the house, seeing a movie, and not paying money for it - these are all fantastic things.
Please ignore the previous post, which'll forever be an annoying eyesore on my blog. Closing your quotations is important, boys and girls. That's what the last half hour of pain has taught me, at least.
Anyways, trying again....
So I've long desired to write for this online comics mag, and since they actually require that you write submissions before you submit them, I tried my hand at a short essay tonight. If anyone has a chance, I'd greatly appreciate a few extra sets of eyes before sending it. Machete away - my hide's gotten too soft these days.
Let me be firm on the point that this is not a big deal, and there's no need to break your back over this. But any thoughts would be appreciated, with thanks in advance.
And now - reading comics! Or possibly cable. Or writing fun Dad stuff. My, but my life is exciting. *g*
So we have updates! The pages should look somewhat better - they should at least be standardized. And we have slightly fancier links at the top. Complete with hopefully working rollovers!
And it took a lot less time than I thought it would. Which is nice. The only page I haven't fixed is the archives - but blogger's being poopy about me accessing the template html... I'll get to it eventually.
There are still more changes I'd like to make, but tonight I want to do some writing, as well as start reading From Hell, which came in the mail this afternoon - yay!
I need to do a book/movie recap at some point, because I've seen a lot and read a lot recently. All in good time, though, because my phone remains silent, my ass remains unemployed, and my days remain empty.
I didn't watch TV at all yesterday. Go me. Instead, I went to the library, found out why my camera takes pictures funny (something I'll need to fix, gosh darn it, with my nonexistant Scrooge McDuck-like piles of money), had a long talk with the roommate about Issues, and taught myself some yoga from a book.
Today, of course, will be different - for one, because I woke up feeling sick and therefore only want to collapse on my bed and watch movies. Also, there's the Kings/Lakers Game 7 - god, but Game 6 was a heartbreaker, an unfair lousy game. Mike Bibby got PUNCHED IN THE FACE! And Kobe took a free throw for it. Grrrr.
Anyways, so I'll be taking it easy today, conserving my strength for tonight's ::gulp:: semi-date. I'm meeting an Onion guy for coffee. I hope it goes well.
Tomorrow or the day after I'm expecting to hear about job things. Cross yer crossables for me.